The Upward Spiral
Posted on October 4, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized, Gratitude, Goals, Fulfillment, Faith |
The other day I was over come by this feeling of euphoria. I was sitting and talking with a girlfriend and it just hit me – bliss! I was overcome with a deep feeling of gratitude and joy for no apparent reason. As I sat listening to my friend, I felt as if I was going to lift out of the chair I was in. At first it was strange, I’ve never experienced any thing like this before, at least not without smoking something or drinking a few too many. No this was different than the old days when I’d feel happy and high for a few hours and then sick for at least a day. Without attempting to figure out if it was something I’d eaten, or needed to eat, I simply accepted that I’m very pleased with my life right now.
I’ve come a long way to get here, and from where I’m sitting today I believe life is an upward spiral. Life seems to be the same for days, even years sometimes, and all of the sudden it shifts higher, better than it was before. I’m not suggesting everything is perfect, . . . well everything is perfect when you trust God is in the center of it all . . . Ok, I’m not suggesting there aren’t challenges, because there are. It just feels like the dark days aren’t as dark or maybe I’ve learned to navigate them so I come out of the darkness less battered than I did years ago. See long ago I use to believe circumstances were bigger than me, and God didn’t care about what I was moving through. Looking back, there’s an entire forest I’ve come through, metaphorically speaking. The fact is I’m not as afraid to live, to trust, to dream, to fall, to laugh, to love, to be seen, be vulnerable, feel pain, forgive, or be forgiven. The person I was even yesterday believed so much mattered that in reality did not.
Life is an upward spiral if we allow it to be. I’m quickly approaching my 40s and I have some friends who’ve already crossed the threshold. And for years I’ve heard people say it just gets better, life just starts getting really good in your 40s. Honestly, when I was in my 20s, this was a foreign language. I lived in the constant pain of bad choices, hurt feelings, resentment and shame. I never thought I’d see the day when I released my idea of how I thought people and things “should be” and accepted the reality of what is. Trust me, this is a work in process, but its easier for me today than it ever has been.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
As I sat with my friend, discussing the goodness of life, I thought of my son Zion. His laughter, bright eyes, slobbery kisses and pure curiosity. Deep in my heart I never believed I’d be a parent, someone’s mommy. It is a miracle. My entire life is a miracle; my friends, my husband, writing, my health… everything!
Ask yourself is your life better today than you imagined or believed possible, not because of things but because of God’s everlasting goodness. Take time to marvel at the miracles you’ve experience, small or large. Then allow the gratitude to simmer in your heart until you fall in love with being you. The love will take you higher for sure!
Peace and Blessings
Monique Ruffin-James
Growing the Goodness!
RSS Feed
Comments
One Response to “The Upward Spiral”
Leave a Reply
When I ask myself is life better than I imagined or believed possible my answers is Yes, Yes, Yes, and it’s all because of God’s goodness. He has been so faithful to me the last few months in particular, which have left me in total AWE!!!
P.S. I just moved to Southern CA (Huntington Beach) and would love to meet you sometime. I say this because I believe you and Nicole to be “real” sister’s in Christ.
I look forward to hearing from you!
In His Love,
Monica