Well Connected

Posted on September 27, 2007
Filed Under Ministry, Trusting God, Courage |

I’m speaking tomorrow night . . . in front of a room full of pastors and others in ministry . . . about ministry. How the . . . heck . . . do I get myself in these situations? For the past three days or so I’ve been wresting over what to say and how to say it, all while repeatedly revisiting the series of events that got me in this quandary in the first place. I feel a little bit like I’m in the middle of an “I love Lucy” episode where the inevitable mishap occurs and the tight camera angle of her bewildered face provokes the audience’s laughter, except nobody’s laughing but me, and then only half-heartedly.

Again . . . how do I get myself in these situations?

Admittedly, the thought of speaking about God to His folks is both thrilling and terrifying, all at once. I feel privileged and horrified at the notion. I feel obedient and stupid. I feel ready and horribly unqualified. And . . . what’s more, I think in some way, I’m supposed to feel his way.

John 15:5

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear uch fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Nothing. I can do, apart for Jesus within me, nothing. So, for me, these moments of uncertainty and doubt are an invitation to check my connections, reconnect if necessary, and disconnect from wrong sources where appropriate. I don’t want to be unconsciously apart from Christ in my thinking, my actions, my being. I want me and my will to be deliberately intermingled with Him and His. I want to “bear much fruit” so that others might be blessed, nurtured and fed from this life I’ve been given.

So, I got up early this morning, re-read my talk (for the millioneth time) and still have tweaking to do yet. Gotta go ’cause there’s lots to do . . . but I have no intention of doing any of it without Jesus. I couldn’t even if I tried.

Peace and blessings,

Nicole Walters