Bring Home the Bacon, Fry it Up in a Pan

Posted on September 18, 2007
Filed Under Work, Faith, Family |

I returned to work a couple of weeks ago after a 7-month maternity leave. Days prior to my return I could feel the anxiety building within me. I wasn’t sure I’d actually be able to leave Zion for several hours a day. I returned to work out of necessity; food, gas, electricity, rent, water . . . necessity! The evening before I could barely stand, I felt like I was getting the flu, just plan ol’ sick to my stomach. Zion was feeling it also; awake wining and crying until the wee hours in the morning. We finally closed our eyes at 5:30 am. At 7: 00 am, I slipped out of bed to begin preparing myself for the evitable: work. Awwwww. While in the shower I noticed a glimmer of excitement rising up inside me. I remember these days, 7 months long ago, when I’d ready myself to spend the day doing grown-up things such as typing letters, using office equipment, having long lunches with my co-workers and friends. It seems an eternity had passed since I last had an adult conversation without wondering if Zion was sleeping, needing a diaper change, or attempting to pry my hair out of my head. I’ve turned into a mother who can hold the baby on my hip with the phone tucked under my chin as I cook a pot of greens.

Proverbs 31:31
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

After days of anxiety and fear all surrounding my return to work, I was beginning to feel like me again. Feeling like me now included being mommy to Zion, which meant I’d done everything possible to find the best child care in my absence. My husband and I prayed for the perfect caregiver who’d love Zion like he was her own. We got just that, his grandma. Gratefully, I knew I could return to work confident Zion would be able to jump and jump for hours, give slobber kisses all day, and, most importantly, feel loved and adored until I returned to him.

The debate over working mothers and stay at home mothers persists. For me the saddest part is most mothers don’t have a choice if they are going to work or stay at home. Working is a necessity in today’s economy, especially in a city like Los Angeles. With that given the choice, I’d choose working out of the home for a maximum of four hours per day. That feels supportive to me being myself and nurturing my interest and passions. The excitement I felt that morning as I prepared for work needs its life, and that’s good for me and Zion. I love returning to Zion after I’ve spent a few hours with peers who are contributing our time and energy to making world a good place to be.

The first day I returned from work I was afraid Zion would be angry with me. His grandma said he’d been resisting eating for much of the day and that concerned me enough that I left work early. When his little eyes saw me he did a happy jump, which included his arms and a hearty laugh. I reached for him and he grabbed my hair tightly and laid a big wet kiss on me. The five hours I’d been gone hadn’t changed much, except that he now gets to play even more with other people who love and adore him as much as I do.

Peace and Blessings,