Defining Me

Posted on August 9, 2007
Filed Under Goals, Faith, Jazz Theologian |

Last night at the Jazz Theologian’s “Discovering the Gospel in Jazz” presentation, he said something that I can’t shake . . . and I don’t want to. He said that, concerning the Bible, we often read it with the intention to define it, instead of reading it and letting it define us. There was a little earthquake in me.

I’m pretty diligent about reading the Word. I feel like it gives me necessary and honest insight into God, Christ, history, human nature, relationships, the Church, community, art, government, sin, truth, etc., and while I definitely see myself reflected in scriptures, I have not always seen scriptures reflected in me. That truth says more about me than it does the Word of God.

For example, the woman at the well. It’s easy to see myself in her situation . . . making the same mistakes over and over again, looking to the same solutions only to discover that its no solution at all, but rather the problem itself. Her issue was men (I think she had a self-love deficiency). Mine is . . . well, do you want the alphabetical list or the prioritized one? The point is, I identify with her, her situation and even her life-changing encounter with Christ. Here’s where the Jazz Theologian’s statement jarred me, does her story identify with me . . . to the point where I’ve now taken ownership of it, formed my own version of it, and am living it out so that when the next “woman at the well” comes around I can tell, live and show her a story of redemption that might cause her to tell, live and show her own version of it one day?

I struggle with that, living out the Word of God. Especially those that say I’m so loved, I’m so great, I’m so accepted, I’m so holy . . . those are the ones I have difficulty with. I mean, the woman at the well essentially went on to become the first evangelist, and that nearly 3,000 years later we’re still talking about her on this blog. While I see me in her, it’s hard to see her - her legacy, her ministry - in me, and to believe that my life could have that same impact, that same story.

Yes, I want to live by the scriptures. I believe they are true (though admittedly hard to understand sometimes - and boring at points . . . all that begatting and stuff). But I also want to live the scriptures . . . at least my modern-day interpretation of them. Paul said that we are living letters and there are days that I feel like I’m composing the great American novel, and others that I feel like an issue of the National Inquirer.

I want to take ownership of all that God says about me and let those words, His words, come alive at every opportunity in the things I think, say, do and believe.

John 1:14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us . . .

If Christ be in me, then I too am the Word made flesh - that’s the prayer of my heart this day.

Peace and Blessings,

Nicole Walters