Grace Walk

Posted on August 1, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized, Spirituality, Parenting, Writing, Trusting God |

It’s a miracle that I’m still standing, breathing, thinking, walking, showering and alive for that matter. Truly, how do women do this thing called parenting an infant? I have no idea how I’m functioning except but for God’s enduring grace. My son is just three days short of being six months old. He is an amazing and sweet child who loves jumping, laughing and sleeping with his parents. Yes, I said sleeping with his parent. Truthfully that’s not unusual where I come from. Both my husband and I slept with someone until we were young adults. In fact, I shared a bed with my aunt until I was 17 and she was 24 - no lie. It was a necessity. When we didn’t have enough rooms or beds, we shared. I was in college before I had my own bed, and a junior in college before I had my own bedroom.

A couple of weeks ago I decided it was time for Zion to begin sleeping in his own bed . . . at least through most of the night. My husband disagrees, and believes that he should sleep with us until he’s old enough to walk to his own room and put himself to bed. These past two weeks have been difficult; I’m getting less sleep as I lie awake listening to the baby monitor and travel the ten steps required to do several night feedings. By 5:00 am, I am usually bringing him back to our bed, but at least he spends 7 or 8 hours getting adjusted to his own. My husband complains; he misses Zion’s little hands on his back. If it were just his little hands I might change my mind, but it’s also his little feet being thrust into my abdomen, and his little head pressed into my chest. I spend most the night making sure I’m not laying on him . . .that is when he’s not sleeping on my chest.

At this point it seems sleeping with Zion or without him is exhausting. If I’m not checking to see if he’s ok in his bed, I’m doing the same with him in mine. Motherhood is a selfless lifestyle. I really had no idea, and honestly I don’t mind. But as I move through my days taking care of Zion, writing articles and simply living, I’m amazed that I have energy, clear thoughts and focused conversations. It’s a miracle I’m standing. It can only be the grace of God living in me, breathing through me and nurturing me as I nurture Zion. No one could have told me I’d be here today with Zion in one arm, typing with my free hand, exhausted and grateful.

How does God’s grace show up in your life? Do you marvel at yourself and immediately think forgive me Lord for taking your credit, I know that wasn’t me? Does your entire life feel that way? Share your experiences of God’s grace with us. Let’s spend the day bragging on God and just how magnificent and humbling life really is.

Peace and Blessings,

Monique Ruffin-James