Past Issue - June, Pleasant Surprises!

Posted on July 18, 2007
Filed Under Past Issues |

Hello Sisters!

This edition of My Goodness Magazine is totally dedicated to pleasant surprises. How sweet is that? My guess is that there have been a slew of occasions in your life when you have been wowed by something you didn’t expect, something you didn’t create on your own. Can you remember how excited you were, how blessed you felt, how good you knew God to be?

Well, you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what you discover in this edition. Nicole has written a beautiful personal story in our Fill Your Spirit section that will point you directly to the goodness of God. After reading this autobiographical experience you’ll be surprised at the right now, today goodness of God – it’s a ‘turn water to wine’ tale to uplift us all. Stop by Free Your Mind, where I, Monique, have created a blueprint to assist you in staying open and receptive for the pleasant surprises God designed just for you. This week in our Find Your Flow section, we have an interview with Esther Davis who has found her flow, her rhythm and her song. Read all about Esther’s pleasant surprise which reminds us that just when we’re tempted to give up, God shows up. I’m telling you it’s good ladies. We are also please to present our poet this issue, Tangala Ash and her poem about . . . . . And, lastly, meet our guest writer Caroline Chadima Johnson as she shares a short story of the simple truth of God’s word and how it, today, still presents the eternal truths of God’s abiding pleasant surprises in our lives.

Make yourself at home. Yes, this is your home. Sit down and feel free to browse around and stay as long as you like. You can even kick off your shoes if you’d like. Share your opinions and personal pleasant surprises in our comments section. We invite your feedback because this is all for you, for us, for our My Goodness family.

Peace and Blessings,

Monique Ruffin-James

Fill Your Spirit

Posted on March 12, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized |

Pregnant with the Possibilities of God by Nicole Walters

Nicole is learning about the grace of God through the abundant mistakes she continues to make on a daily basis, grateful for her husband and sons who are often the hapless casualties of those mistakes, and amazed that there is enough love between them to cover it all. Oh, and she’s going shopping this afternoon for something cute to wear for some pictures she’s taking soon.

Mom, Dad, I’ve Got Something to Tell You

It was the worst possible thing that could have happened to me at the worst possible time that it could have happened. Or, at least, that’s what I thought. I mean, I was 16 years old, about to be a senior in high school and in the process of making major decisions about college, life and my future in general, but then . . . then I got pregnant.

Thinking about it now, 21 years later, the aggressive fear that strangled me those many years ago seems like little more than recalling a story I heard someone else tell. But I know better. The heartbreak that I caused my parents who, in their defense, “taught” me better was real. My decision to forego going away to college happened. The shame I suffered from the stares of passersby hurt. Saying my good-bye to life as I had known it, carefree, easy, and innocent, was a permanent and mournful one.

At 16, I just knew my life was over . . . I’m so glad I was wrong.

The Forest for the Trees

Twenty years of marriage and one more son later, I’m still here. Though the road has been one full of twists and turns on a surface that often is potholed and unpaved, I’ve walked it, crawled it and ran it – sometimes hand-in-hand with the Father, other times foolishly either running ahead of Him or falling woefully behind. And while I think I prefer the straight and narrow miles that are full of routines like dropping one kid off and picking up the other, dinner at 6:00 and a Friday night movie, it’s been during the turns into the brush of the wilderness of sickness, trouble or pain that I have more easily seen God’s hand, more intimately experienced God’s love, and more completely received God’s deliverance. It seems the darkest moments of my life have heralded my brightest.

This journey that we do with God can overflow with pleasant surprises, if we allow it, are open to it, and recognize and welcome God’s omnipresence in it. Take my unplanned, premature and ill-timed pregnancy for example. Though conceived outside of marriage and in “sin” (for you puritans among us . . . of which I am at times a member), I couldn’t have possibly foreseen all the gifts the child I birthed would birth into me, my husband or our families. From this child, Ryan, came a marriage (I know, I know, the order is all wrong, but still . . . ) that lives, breathes and stands as a testimony to the grace, power and remarkable love of God today – beautifully flawed though it remains. And, from this marriage came another cherished expression of God’s love through our youngest son, Cole.

Through these boys, these two gifts from God Himself, I have come to know love, sacrifice, grace, discipline, strength and forgiveness in ways I don’t imagine that I could’ve without them. And before you even say it, no, I don’t mean to paint a picture that misrepresents the barely surmountable hardships inherent in parenting and marriage at 17 years old, but in the hardships and in the difficulties, the presence of God is all the more discernable.

From my now 38-year-old perspective, I wonder at how we made it through – and not only that, but how we made it through happy, joyful, thriving and still “in” love. I remember envying the freedom of my college-aged peers and resenting my marital and parental tether. I recall my amazement at how utterly untimely my breast, my perky, beautiful breast, took at southward turn way too early. I still feel the shock of my first car accident and the subsequent escape of the word “mom” from my lips only to hear Ryan screaming “mom” from the back seat and thinking, how can I be a mom and need my own so desperately at the same time? And, yet . . . yet . . . we’re here: I’m here today.

New Day, New Mercies

As I write this article about the pleasant surprises that the love, grace and mercy of God offers, I just hung up from talking to Ryan. He and I laughed about family drama, had some serious discussion about the same and shared some “I love yous” before saying good-bye. As I write this article, I realize that I have absolutely no idea where Cole is . . . wait . . . I’ll be back . . . okay. He’s all right. As I write this article, Marc is undoubtedly whooping his friends on the golf course. As I write this article, my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for the unlimited power of God to restore, resurrect, and redeem the whole of our lives . . . the good, the bad, the ugly and the unplanned . . . with the most pleasant surprises of His brilliance, His orchestration and His love.

So, there I was, 16 and pregnant. And here I am, 38 and with my youngest, now 16, about to graduate high school in 2 years. And here’s what I couldn’t know then, but that God knew always. Ten years ago, when I was 28, I had a hysterectomy. Ten years ago, when most of my friends were beginning to have children (or at least beginning to think about having children) my ability to have them ended. Ten years ago, suffering terribly from fibroid tumors the size of grapefruits, my childbearing years were past me.

While I am in no way advocating premarital sex or glamorizing teen pregnancy, I am inviting you to marvel along with me at the power of God to turn our gravest mistakes into our most beautiful masterpieces, as only He can. And, I’d risk it further to suggest simply, that what I, you and we, in our limited understanding, call mistakes, fault, blunders, gaffes or missteps, God reserves the right to call provision, a testimony, and His glory on display. 2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. I would, all over again, take the immense challenges of teenage pregnancy and marriage any day (and believe me there were many) for the joy of loving my husband and sons ever, at all. So what, my boys will need therapy because we were way too young to parent them well. I trust that God will meet them on their couches too. After all, He, in His love and kindness, is full of pleasant surprises.

On the night I brokenheartedly told my parents that I, their youngest daughter, was pregnant, my father was the bravest, most gentle and most loving I’d ever experienced him. His response, his first response, was to say, “baby gal, it’s not the end of the world.” His words of grace and forgiveness opened the window for me to extend that grace and forgiveness toward myself, and to receive the same from my Father in heaven. I, teary-eyed, sat on a lawn chair in our backyard that chilly California night and, through my fear, confusion and disappointment began to sing, Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, they are weak but He is strong – strong enough to bring light to the dark, strong enough to add hope to our despair, strong enough to give future to what seems like the end.

I don’t know what your present “surprise” is. Maybe it’s a scary prognosis; perhaps it’s an unwanted phone call; or possibly an abrupt end to something you thought would be forever. But I can’t help but encourage you with my life’s example that God is a good God who is willing and able to turn our bleakest circumstance into our crowning moment of glory if we allow Him. He is full of love . . . and the most pleasant surprises.

Peace and Blessings,

Nicole Walters

The Honest to Goodness Truth:Psalm 37: 5, 6 - Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

We produce My Goodness Magazine because we see the value of community amongst women of faith who are seeking to live their lives to the glory of God . . . no matter how difficult that might be at times. We encourage you to grow this community though your prayers and your own contribution. Please share with us in our comments section how God has pleasantly surprised you in a difficult moment. Your sisters need to hear your story to experience encouragement in their own. We can’t wait to hear from you.

Free Your Mind

Posted on March 12, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized |

Gloriously Caught by Surprise by Monique Ruffin-James

Monique is in awe her 4 ½ month old’s hearty laughter, has almost perfected operating on less than 4 hours of sleep, learning a new language (baby speak), getting and giving more than her share of hugs and kisses and loving it, and she’s grateful for it all.

Many of us move about our lives like we’ve been given a script. We follow it word for word and line by line, often missing the tree-lined streets, new faces, butterflies and eagles that soar above with spread wings as the wind lifts them higher. Deviations from the script are often met with resistance and viewed as nuisances and as life’s unpleasantries. “Pleasant surprises” are a foreign concept when we spend every moment attempting to control our existence, never willing to surrender and to let go and let God. We know exactly how we want our lives to unfold and we hold so tightly to those ideas that there isn’t space for God’s idea for our lives. We spend so much time manipulating outer circumstances that we leave little space for the synchronicities, magic and miracles that only the Spirit can orchestrate.

Before I was married, I believed it was my responsibility to find the right and perfect partner for me. I spent hours thinking, worrying, fantasizing and obsessing about Mr. Right. When I’d meet a new man I was interested in, I’d leave him little to no space to pursue me. I didn’t trust that he would know how to get us on the track toward marriage. So I’d plot, plan and chase anyone I thought could be ‘the one’. The question is where was God in this behavior? Where was God is my scheming and manipulating? The answer is easy: God wasn’t “there” because I didn’t trust the sovereignty and the absolutely goodness of God. I didn’t believe it was God’s intention to give me the desires of my heart. So, I did everything I could to control the situation and each time I found myself brokenhearted, exhausted, and lonelier than I was before. It was years and countless, seemingly faceless men before I caught a clue and accepted that I’m not strong enough to make anyone love and desire me. There are some things in life that are simply out of our control. My behavior was my way of protecting myself from pain and disappointment and each time I got an extra scoop of both.

The truth about control is that it’s an illusion. We don’t control what happens, nor do we control who or what comes and goes. Our control is limited to our own behavior and response to what life is bringing us in every moment. I have learned the more controlling I am the less open and receptive I am to God’s love and goodness. A controlling person virtually blocks the flow of God’s goodness because they are unwilling to allow providence its natural place. Control also rules out an active practice of faith, a faith that knows God is working all things together for our highest and best good.

The secret to experiencing pleasant surprises is staying receptive and open to the natural and absolute goodness of God. This is a high calling in today’s world where we are faced with wars, inflation, poverty, corporate greed and day-to-day survival. It seems natural to fear those things and to protect ourselves against them, except that fear shuts our hearts and minds down to everything and “protecting” ourselves not only keeps out the perceived bad things but the good things too. If we keep our eyes on what harm may come we will surely miss the guaranteed goodness as long as our gaze is directed elsewhere.

The Practice of Being Open and Receptive

I have experienced a lifetime of pleasant surprises, from unexpectedly running into old friends to having my school tuition anonymously paid in full. Each time I’d say I was receptive and willing to experiencing something out of the ordinary. In the case of the tuition, I prayed for a miracle because all other avenues for money were exhausted and nothing, I mean nothing, was flowing. We can begin being open to the extraordinary by emptying ourselves daily and being willing to become new. Let go of your ideas of who you were yesterday by asking God to renew you in His image and likeness today. Release limiting and false ideas you hold of yourself; the ideas that keep you small, in bondage and fearful of your own greatness. Next, begin forgiving yourself and others with the intention of being free and unblocked to anticipate and receive goodness.

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
Anonymous

Surrender is a necessary practice in being open and receptive. When we surrender our ideas, our power, and our control – we open ourselves up to God’s ideas, power and control. Oprah Winfrey often says God can dream a bigger dream for our lives than we can. I love this. Have you ever held an idea for yourself and when it came true it was far more magnificent than you could have ever imagined. Surrendering is an activity of trusting the inherent benevolence of God. As you consider what you desire for your life, imagine all the events, circumstances, and synchronicities necessary for you to have what you desire. Imagine if you were responsible for orchestrating it all to perfection. Impossible! When we surrender and let go of the ‘how’, ‘who’ and ‘what’ of our experience, we can be pleasantly surprised when life shows up better than we could have designed it for ourselves. Surrender demands that we trust God and dig deep beyond our fears, worries and doubts that we may never have what we truly desire if we don’t make it happen ourselves. When you find yourself in worry, remind yourself as often as necessary that you are surrounded by the love of God that is caressing you and co-creating with you a wonderful and blessed life. The key to surrender is knowing deep within yourself that God is good and God is love, and that you are a part of this goodness and love. This knowing will secure you in times of challenge and uncertainty, clearing the path for a most wonderful pleasant surprise designed just for you.

We live by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians: 5:7

Faith is another practice that keeps us open and receptive. The scripture defines faith as things hoped for, yet unseen. In my own life I have experienced the difference between being faithful and faithless. I’m sure we all can attest to what happens when we live believing God has His hand in our affairs and is moving on our behalf. I’m certain we have all prayed and asked for a perfect outcome to a challenging situation. And, in the darkest nights when we saw no way, we trusted God could see the infinite possibilities and would reveal them in the ideal time. The truth is that it’s during our seasons of darkness that our faith grows and is strengthened. Faith is essential to the practice of being open and receptive during our trials because our human perspective can be limited and restricted by our stories, our past and our disbelief. Faith is the window we leave open for God’s entrance.

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Matthew 22: 36-39

Of all these things: love. Love is the greatest of all gifts. Love opens your heart and frees your mind. Love connects you to others and creates an environment of safety. Today we frequently hear people talking about loving yourself. I’m always curious what they mean, or what loving “yourself” looks like. I believe loving oneself means taking responsibility for your peace, freedom, dreams and happiness. In loving ourselves our happiness is inevitable. It’s not up to our parents, spouses, children, friends or leaders to assure our fulfillment and happiness. Loving yourself means doing what makes you feel good about you, doing what makes your life better, following your integrity and doing what makes joy emanate from your pores. You are your first love, so treating yourself well is your priority. When we love ourselves, we not only easily attract others who will happily do the same, but also love others better and more easily too, thus allowing our lives to become a string of pleasant surprises, one after another.

Pleasant surprises occur when we release control and let God do what God does – but you gotta let it do what it do baby! Life surely is a great adventure if we are willing to see it that way. Give yourself permission to be excited to discover what a new day brings, what a person can teach you, and what is new about you – yes, the pleasant surprise is you and your view of life. Yesterday I noticed a caterpillar spinning a cocoon outside my door. It attached itself upside down beneath the window sill. I’ve decided to stop and witness its process and progress and to bless it as it changes inside the cocoon and becomes a butterfly. I imagine it’s a pleasant surprise to transform into a beautiful butterfly after having undergone such a grueling process. Look at yourself. See who you are. Consider the journey you’ve traveled. Now, aren’t you pleasantly surprised in how it all worked out, the miracles you’ve witnessed along the way, and who you’ve become and are becoming? Life is full of pleasant surprises . . . they are just there for the experiencing.

Peace and Blessings,

Monique Ruffin-James

The Honest to Goodness Truth:

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

My Goodness Magazine is a community created to share, spread and grow the goodness in our lives. We intend for the good to grow so big, wide and high that we can’t see anything but goodness in any direction. With this in mind, let us hear from you. In the comments section below, take a moment to share the pleasant surprises you have received, the surprises you knew only God could design, or the surprise God used you to create for someone you love . . . or a stranger even. Here at My Goodness Magazine, we are looking forward to being pleasantly surprised by your participation in this movement to Be Goodness, Give Goodness, See Goodness and Receive Goodness. Thank you, we are so blessed to be a part of your daily lives.

Feed Your Soul

Posted on March 20, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized |

I Pray, Wish and Hope for You. . . .

I pray, wish and hope for you
Because we’ve had these 9 months & a few minutes together.
I did not grow up at the so-n-so Negro Public School
But I’m still treated and cheated as a Negro not a Human Being
It is natural to support your own, they say.
It is nothing just something we all knew, so we didn’t think to tell you, they say.
We are diverse! They say.
But the ratio is 15 to 125; Fraction 3/25; Percent? 12.
From 3 fifths of a man to only 12% worthy to teach, but not recruit,
I’m still fighting Jamestown, VA, circa 1619
So I pray, wish and hope for you to change the world.

My prayer is that you have seen love for others in this year’s time
My wish is that you experience integration at its best . . . fair.
My hope is that your generation will become better at it than mine.

I want you to live in a world where grace is plentiful and character counts
I worry woefully for the world
Extinction, depleting, contaminated, genocide,
Weight-ism, Mental-health-ism, Prison-ism, College-ism,
Unjust war, disease, racism, sexism, class-ism
The suffrage of people all over the world at the hands of misguided governments
I want you to change that, so
I hope, pray and wish for you
That you will have power,
Not holding it within the confines of your 5 digits,
You will share your power
Use it responsibly & humbly
Not to annihilate everything that is not like us
Instead, do something for those who are in need
Even if it is just one
Use your power to achieve that yet still allow PEACE & JOY for humanity.

At each breathing moment know, that there is a little old lady praying, wishing
And hoping for you
That your generation will live to see peace, understanding, respect and joy!
I pray, hope and wish for you because over the last 9 months and few minutes
You have greatly impacted my life
So sweetly, so daringly
That I will never, never ever, be able to forget thee.

SURPRISE! For every educator you have sat under, there is at least one praying, hoping and wishing for you to change the world. It is for this reason we commit our lives to the learning success of our students. We are not perfect, however, our prayers protect you from harm; our hopes propel you to survive life’s trials and our wishes bring blessings of goodness in your lives. We love you because together we were able to love learning, get angry and celebrate reconciliation.
SURPRISE! It is now your turn to teach someone else how to be successful at something constructive. Remember your best is more than enough and is all that is required.

Find Your Flow

Posted on March 25, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized |

I met Esther around three years ago. I planned to go on a mission trip to Peru with some mutual friends but, because of a last-minute family emergency, I was unable to go so Esther went in my place. When she returned from the trip, we had the occasion to share in her experience, and we have continued to share about any and everything ever since. I have come to admire Esther’s creativity as a poet, playwright, songwriter, singer, painter and an actress. Her life is overflowing with God’s gifts, and her willingness to express them. However, for as abundant as her life has been, she – until recently – still had a longing that is common among many men and women in the course of their lifetime . . . marriage. Esther desired to be married and felt like God called her to marriage, but it was only five months ago that God bought her husband into her life. Given that this issue of My Goodness Magazine is about Pleasant Surprises, we wanted to talk to Esther about a struggle many of us face while waiting on God in the area of relationships and how, in spite of the frustration and longing we might feel, we can stay open to the pleasant surprise of God’s move in our lives. It is my honor to introduce you to Esther Pulley, er, I mean Davis.

Peace and Blessings,Nicole Walters
Before you were married were you happy and fulfilled in your life?

I was happy, but not fulfilled.

What did you do to cultivate happiness?

I have in the last year joined a new ministry and that has allowed to sing, act, share some artwork, teach, and lot of things I’ve wanted to do but did not always have the opportunity.

Were you ever lonely?

Throughout the years I have been very lonely . . . many times.

Where was God in your loneliness?

He was right there. Through prayer He would show me how to guard myself from situations that would lead to loneliness. For example, sometimes it wasn’t good for me to hang out with couples because I’d more than likely go home feeling sad that I didn’t have anyone in my life. I had to make choices. I had to keep my mind on Him.

Did you ever accept being single as good enough?
No, but I tried. Because I had prayed so long, I started wondering if I was hoping in vain. I prayed that God would show me how to be satisfied.

Do you believe you changed your attitude, prayers or lifestyle in your singleness in someway and that change attracted your husband?

It may have. I prayed for God’s will. After so much time passed I felt “I will focus on God and if He blesses me with a husband, it will be a surprise.” I believe that my focus on God caused me not to look so hard for a mate. My responses to men were not flirtatious at all. I think what attracted Bernard was that I didn’t go after him at all.

What did you believe marriage would offer that being single did not?

Companionship, of course. I always believed that even if a woman is whole, it’s a plus to have that man there to be a covering as you walk in God’s purpose.

Now that you are married, is it what you desired?

Things are still new. There are things I know that are yet to unfold. It’s what I desired to this point but I believe my desires will continually be met as time goes on.

What about marriage has changed your view of yourself?

I’m not as selfish as I thought I might be!

What can you offer single women who desire marriage?

Keep your focus on God. When you do, He may just bring you a nice surprise. While you wait, ask God to show you how to be better person. You want God to send a man that will be a blessing to you, so see how you can be a blessing to him in return. Don’t waste God’s time consumed by the idea of marriage. Most of all, trust and wait on God.

Are you happier now and is it because of your husband?

I am more confident now. I feel more like I’m in my set place. I have God’s joy. My husband makes me very happy for sure.

Is marriage what you imagined it would be?

Pretty much. In some ways it’s more than I imagined. I haven’t had any bad surprises. A lot of people say the first year is the worst. If that’s true, we’ve got some awesome days coming. It’s only been 5 months, but I’ve seen people do much worse. I’ve been blessed.

How has marriage been a pleasant surprise?

I had been alone for years. There were many things I was used to doing on my own. Many decisions I had to make by myself. I was surprised at the many areas that I could just sit back and let Bernard take it. What a relief!!

How long had you been praying for your husband?

How old am I? ☺ Well, I wanted a husband since I was about 20, but I think I started praying for one around age 24. Then I really got on my face and started praying about 10 years ago.

What lessons were learned during your waiting process?

I learned that my focus was wrong. I learned that the perfect man in my head didn’t exist. I learned that I needed to work on me so that I would be a blessing to that husband when he came. I actually enjoyed trying to improve myself. I got to know myself better. I gained confidence and a higher self-esteem in the process.

What did you discover about God during your waiting?

I discovered that God loves me no matter what and He wants me to be filled with His joy. God wants to be number one. I learned that I could trust Him no matter what. I learned that I’m never alone with Him in my life.

How have those lessons/discoveries benefited your marriage today?

These lessons and discoveries have benefited me in a way that I’ve learned how to overcome little things that are insignificant. Bernard loves me so much, and that matters more than if he ever forgot to open a door for me. In the past I would have equated something that simple to “he doesn’t love me enough.” God has a purpose for both of us. I believe that’s why He brought us together. And we will never fulfill that purpose if we focus on the little things that cause a lot of marriages to fail. Everything is still new, we are learning who each other are everyday. So far, it’s been good.

During one of our last conversations before you met Bernard, you said that you’d given up on the idea of marriage . . . a few weeks later Bernard showed up. What would you tell someone who is facing disappointment in obtaining her “dream” about life’s pleasant surprises?

I’d say don’t give up. You never know what God is doing. I’m glad that God didn’t bring Bernard before now because I don’t know that I would have known how to be a real wife to him. God’s timing is so much better than ours. I’d say wait on God to choose that man for you, he knows best. And God knows how to love us until that happens, and afterwards. Now that Bernard is here, the wait somehow doesn’t seem like it lasted as long as it did.

The Unexpected Revelation by Caroline Johnson

She knew when the last surprise happened to her, but had to go deeper to recall a pleasant one. It seemed that so much of her life was being imposed upon her by others, rather than she herself mapping out and implementing the joyful life she had in mind. She wondered, is it really true what many psychologists say? That people more easily gravitate toward the negative instead of the positive? Is that why she was feeling so put upon by the unwelcome surprises of others? Is it the same for those of us who have received the glorious gift of Christ’s love? Yes, she thought, even though she was rock solid certain that she was a child of God and saved by His grace, even she found that she exhibited a critical spirit more often than the encouraging, uplifting and joyful one she knew God had for her.

She tried to define the word pleasant, which comes from the root word pleasure. Maybe because she hadn’t felt this earthly emotion in a while, it eluded her. Think back girl, you can find it. It’s there somewhere. You are the daughter of the King of Kings, He adores you and delights in you, you are precious to Him, He finds joy in you as His child, you have been grafted into His family forever. That being so, you know you are His pleasure, His creation, His delight, His joy. Then the verse came to her, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Phil. 4:8, NIV). Ah ha! There it is!
She was to purposefully set her mind on the things of Christ, to think on the things God says are worthy of thought, not on what was going on all around her, or what was ruminating inside of her.

Ok, then, she’d find it: think, think, think. Was what was going on in her life that was true? The Lord God of heaven and earth, the Creator of the universe, chose her to be His beloved. What in her life was noble? The Lord treated her in a dignified, gracious, respectful way, no matter what her particular status was. What in her life was right? The Lord’s guiding of her was always accurate and precise and always good for her. What in her life was pure? In His eyes, and by His blood, she was clean, uncontaminated and wholesome; because He said she could, she’d asked and had been forgiven. What in her life was lovely (this was her favorite one)? The life and love of Jesus Christ for His children, to her was beautiful, attractive and exquisite. What in her life was admirable? This one was hard for her because she knew that she sought acceptance from the world. The service work she got to participate in and spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ’s love was commendable, worthy and highly regarded in God’s eyes. What in her life was excellent? She wanted to be like Daniel, “Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent.” (Daniel 6:2-4). The longer she was a Christian, the more she understood that excellence wasn’t about position, as much as demonstrating the qualities of trustworthiness to the Lord. Finally, what in her life was praiseworthy? She searched the Scriptures and found 1 Peter 2:20, “But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.”

So she had come full circle. If she were to behave in commendable and laudable ways to those whom she thought were imposing themselves on her life, and to do the good God speaks of, regardless of what was seemingly happening or what her emotions told her, then God would help her handle it all. And, He would see her through it, to a most excellent life He that had planned for her, in His perfect way, in His perfect time.

To be surprised is to receive the unexpected and then quickly and briefly feel an unplanned emotion. She sat there, pondering the unexpected revelation the Lord had just given her. And it was a pleasant surprise. And she was delighted.