Choose This Day

Posted on May 31, 2007
Filed Under Life, Fear, Trusting God, Resilience, Faith |

I’m in one of those moods today. As soon as I answer my phone those friends who know me well ask, “what’s wrong?” I’ve been told a million times that my voice betrays me. Sigh. There are some real and some only imagined reasons for my current disposition. But that’s not really what I want to talk about, so . . . What I do want to talk about, however, is the choice I have, even in this moment, about who to be, how to be and what to be. I could sulk, be defensive, and resent what’s going on for me right now, or I could acknowledge my state of mind, examine it, work through it and apply it to my real desire to grow closer to the One who made me in everything and with every day.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t recognize the choice, when I felt mostly exhausted from being in a constant state of reaction rather than contemplation and intention. I’m grateful for the years that invite maturity, experience and wisdom. I can’t say that the things that challenged me yesterday are so different from the challenges I face today, but I can say that I, thankfully, have changed in them – at least a little bit. I’m still insecure in my abilities, but now I am at least willing to take some risks. I’m still uncertain that I know exactly what my purpose is in this life, but I’m certain that I should attempt to do those things that speak to my soul in an effort to find out.

So, in my mood, in my malaise, I’m choosing to breathe, I’m choosing to seek the advice of friends who I know and trust, I’m choosing to be quiet and still rather than aimlessly move forward for the sake of, well, movement, and I’m choosing to trust that this, even this, has brought with it gifts, insights and an opportunity to discover more about myself and my God. It’s all about perspective I’m learning.

It’s just one of those days . . . but, last I checked, this day, this very one, is one that the Lord has made, and I will – in spite of myself – rejoice and be glad in it.

Peace and Blessings,

Nicole Walters