Happily Ever After

Posted on May 23, 2007
Filed Under Life, Gratitude, Trusting God, Fulfillment, Faith |

I touched on something very sensitive for me in yesterday’s blog. It may be part of the reason I’m having such a difficult time with this whole ‘take no thought for your life’ thingamajig! I realize that I live in a bit of a fantasy world. This is what I mean. I have a deep hidden quiet belief that God will save me from the boogie man. Anything that I perceive as scary, painful, confusing, hard, sad, restrictive, or disgraceful, God will rescue me. It registers inside me like Cinderella and Snow White. This is why I refer to the little girl within me who believes in happily ever after.

How many of us recall the stories of our childhood and how seductive they were, how real they seemed. I’m beginning to realize my concept of God is closely tied to these Disney fairy tales. I know this is strange but when I was a girl it worked, it gave me a sense of security when I was afraid. I imagine most children probably collapse their fantasies into their idea of God, but by the time they become adults, they’ve successfully determined fact from fantasy. Well I haven’t. I still have a secret place where I escape and everything is perfect because God waved his magic wand and made it that way.

This morning I discovered this while speaking with a close friend who visited our mutual friend in hospice care. I was feeling confused and unclear about why our friend is experiencing this very painful time in her life. When my girlfriend asked me to explain the confusion, I said, “ I have a fantasy that God makes everything better, fixes things by snapping his fingers or waving his wand three times and your cured, or you have enough money, or the mate you always desired, or living the dream you always desired.” This is getting crazier by the minute, but it’s true. It’s the thing that keeps me optimistic and hopeful to the very end.

Scripture says we should be as little children, is this what’s happening? I don’t know. But children are eternally hopeful and forgiving. They have this way of accepting ‘what is’ without question. When I look into the eyes of a child, I believe anything is possible. Maybe the little girl in me is just holding on to the possibilities of goodness. Maybe she’s trying to convince me not to worry because everything will work out in a wonderful way. Heck, maybe she knows something my grown behind doesn’t. I guess, because when I start thinking about the future and worrying will things happen as I desire I feel bad. Plan and simple, it doesn’t feel good to worry about my life.

Children in supportive environments don’t have a concern in the world, and though my childhood was filled with chaos, I still made it here. I am a responsible, loving, friendly, open-hearted, funny, weird, chatty kinda girl who loves life. “Take no thought for your life” is taking me on quite a journey, from worry to death, now to children. As I write this entry I’m watching my son Zion who isn’t the least bit interested in the rent, car insurance, health care, groceries and cable. He is just a bundle of giving and receiving love. I think I’ll spend the day observing and learning from him, I’m sure he can offer something I’ve long abandoned for the distractions of the world.

Today, let us be as little children who live in the moment, love unconditionally and find beauty in the simplest things. Let’s begin by asking God to point us toward freedom, this way we can sincerely do the work of anchoring Heaven on earth.

Peace and Blessings, Monique Ruffin-James