Take No Thought, Pt. II
Posted on May 22, 2007
Filed Under Spirituality, Life, Love, Fear, Trusting God, Goals |
Since yesterday morning I’ve received two calls informing me that two separate people who have impacted my life greatly have either died or are going to do so very soon. One is a dear friend and old boy friend from college. He had a heart attack this Saturday; he was just 36 years old. The other, Rev. Jeanette Glass, has been placed in hospice because of her colon cancer. Both of these dear souls have contributed goodness and joy to my life. Todd was a friend and companion who wrote poetry, loved throwing parties and being of service in his community. When we attended Howard University, he was a Campus Pal for new students and had a wide open heart and eternal smile. I adored him. And Jeanette is a spite fire of a spiritual mentor. She’ll give you the shirt off her back while reading you the riot act and praying for you. She’s the soulful, take no mess, grandma type. I was told by her care giver that her spirit is strong, and I believe that!
Both of these very touching and sad but true stories bring me back to yesterday’s offering- take no thought for your life. The news of two people I love dying or being close to death is shocking, but it also reminds me this life is not mine. We don’t own our lives. My Grandma would always say, “We’re living on borrowed time.” Nothing makes this truer than death, especially an untimely one. This is not my life! This is God’s life! Take no thought for your life, because in truth it’s not my life after all. My life is actually God’s life, who has already thought about it, considered it, planned it, nurtured it and seen it. Then He created me to bring it to life – to live it, all for his glory. Wow! I’m stunned. As I’m writing this I can feel something inside me tightening up – an abandoned child afraid of pain and lack. A little girl who really wants guarantees of safety and a pain free existence lives inside me. She’s with me to figure it out. My inner little girl is convinced I need to think long and hard about this life, ‘cause if I don’t she’ll be hurt again.
Okay . . . I’m feeling very vulnerable, like maybe I’ve shared too much. I probably should call my therapist . . .
My God, this is taking me to a deep place. No one ever said a spiritual walk would be easy. It challenges us to our very core, offering an opportunity to confront beliefs and practices that no longer serve us. All so we can express more of God’s love, that’s what it’s all about right . . . love. If today were my last day on earth, would I want to spend it worrying about money, work, success, my child, my body image? Absolutely not! So once again I’m asking for your contributions, your feed back on this topic.
How do I sincerely release the concern and begin living this life like it belongs to God. When I say release concern, I mean the energy of trying to control my life – the time I spend trying to figure out the future.
Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
I’ve already begun asking God “How will you use my life? How can I serve?” I ask this several times during the day when thoughts of worry surface.
Please feel free to share scriptures or any literature that may assist me. And I’m really interested in your personal experiences. Stories of life transformations that required surrendering into the unknown while trusting that God would provide will help me. I am deeply grateful for such a wonderful community of women with whom I can be my transparent self. I pray each on of us feels this way and uses My Goodness Magazine to grow the good within our own hearts, in our homes and communities at large. And I’m learning quickly that it begins within. Thank you for walking with me.
Peace and Blessings,
Monique Ruffin-James
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One Response to “Take No Thought, Pt. II”
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Monique:
Todd was my boy in highschool and college. Although I am a little older (39)- (I was really his older brother’s friend - Todd was more like a little brother to me), I remember you from Howard. You were very special to him. I’ll bet you are trying to figure out how I found this site and you. I went to CU for my freshman year with Marc Walters and know Nicole through him. I am also good friends with Monica Simmons and Jackie Poe. Anyway, take care and thanks for sharing!
Regards,
Dan