Starting With Me First!

Posted on April 30, 2007
Filed Under Life, Goals, Self Care, Fulfillment |

I went to bed early last night . . . 9:30 ish. After saying ”goodnight” to my men, I did some light reading and settled down in my yummy bed. I retired early with the intention to get up early for a little quiet time and to hit the gym before work. My sleep was restful enough and I woke, naturally, at around 5:15 . . . 5:15. Just saying that makes me cringe. 5:15.

In any event, I laid there for a minute or two, well thirty to be exact, thinking, praying, drifting, and processing, when I finally reminded myself of why I went to bed so early in the first place. Quiet time. (Achieved.) And, the gym. (Suddenly, up for debate?!?!) But this bed feels soooo good.

Here’s my deal - I want to stay healthy AND get back into my size 6’s. 8’s, for my 5′3 frame, simply make me feel uncomfortable and cranky. And, for me, the only thing that’s going to accomplish the shrinking of my butt is a commitment to working out. I enjoy food too much to delude myself into thinking I can or will monitor what I eat. Get real. I’d much rather just kill myself on the treadmill than say no to half-n-half in the morning. As if. But, man, getting to the treadmill, early in the morning, is a daily decision that I sometimes make, and sometimes don’t. Nicole, that’s why you went to bed early, remember? Oh, shut up!

Intention. Merriam-Webster says this of intention: “Intention implies little more than what one has in mind to do or bring about <announced his intention to marry>. Intent suggests clearer formulation or greater deliberateness <the clear intent of the statute>.” If I want to stay healthy and lose weight, how deliberately will I arrange my habits, my decisions, heck, even my thoughts toward those goals? It requires more than wishful thinking, but also purposeful action to met my intention.

The truth is, I want to - beyond simply the gym - live a life of intention. I want to, with intention, be a great wife to Marc and a loving mother to my sons. I want to, with intention, represent my beliefs and convictions through my lifestyle. In order to do that, I might need to rearrange, discard, or create new priorities with my time, my effort, and my “doing.” Kinda hard to be an attentive wife if I’m gone all the time. Kinda hard to represent the God I love so much if I’m doing things outside of His character all the time. While this may not be a new relevation for you, it is for me. I’ve been, up until recently, operating under the dillusion that I can have it all. Family, ministry, time for myself, time for friends, time for work, time for play, time for church, time, time, time, time . . . Egad! And, you know what, I simply can’t. I have to make choices - choices based upon my intention. And, you know what, it starts with me . . . if I can’t be true to my own intentions, then I’m not much good to the world around me either. Jesus’ exhortation that we live with the intention to love our neighbors as ourselves is rendered impotent if I have no love for myself . . . love that can be at times sacrificial of one good thing (extra sleep) for a greater good thing (health and actually keeping a promise). Intention. And, by the way, love is the greatest.