Look to the Lillies

Posted on April 9, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized, Spirituality, Life, Love, Provision, Parenting |

Zion Being a new mom is awe inspiring to say the least. I find myself gazing at my son in wonder. Who are you little boy? What did you come to bring us? How can I best assist you with you life? What gifts have you? What challenges will you encounter? As our eyes connect, he coos, pushes his feet into my abdomen, locks his knees, lifts his arms above his head and like a rocket he’s ready to launch! But not so fast . . . at only nine-weeks-old there’s a lot of life in store before all of that.

When my husband and I decided to have children it was an easy choice to make. My husband has always loved children and watching him interact with them was inspirational. And, though I have never been one of those women who lived to be a mother, I did desire having a family of my own one day. It helped that I had witnessed many of my friends having babies who then grew into toddlers, teenagers, and one is even a 21-year-old, beer drinking, college football player, WOW!

As I watched my friends with children, I saw that they had something outside of themselves to nurture. Fast approaching 40 in a few years; my life was all about me - my weight, my job, marital status, and my hairstyle. And, did I mention the size of my bottom? I was beginning to bore the heck out of myself with “me.”

Now that I have stepped into the world of parenthood, I’m wondering how people do it? How do they feed themselves and their children? How do they cloth themselves and their children? How do they manage to have a life, friends, work, and dreams and raise children? As I look around it seems everyone is doing it . . . managing . . . even thriving as parents in some way. I think I’m in shock! Holding my son and looking in his eyes, questions fill my mind, questions I can’t possibly answer now. I ask myself what was I thinking? What was I thinking about childcare, health care and college tuition? Truly, the list is eternal. So I find comfort in the lives of others who have walked this walk and blazed the trails of motherhood so beautifully. My dearest friend became a parent at 16. She gave her boys love, truth, a great home environment and so much more. I have an aunt who sacrifices to give her daughter the best education available. She also was responsible for my education when I was in school. It’s possible these mothers had similar concerns and, well, God proved true to His word.

That’s what it all comes to, God and the abundance His grace, His love, His sustenance, and His promises. I’ve started to catch myself when the questions come and my mind drifts off to things unknown. I choose to bring myself back to the room I am in and to the thing I am doing now. If I can just change this diaper, wash these clothes, answer this call, complete this blog, cook this meal . . . The truth is, I’m doing okay. Heck, better than that, I’m doing what needs to be done now.

“Now” is all that is truly promised. And God knows I have enough occupying my time and energy today. So I”ll do my best to let this day be enough. And when I forget, I’ll look to the lilies of the field for inspiration.

Matthew 6:28 says, “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.”

Peace and blessings
Monique Ruffin-James