Old Things Have Passed Away

Posted on April 8, 2007
Filed Under Spirituality, Life, Love |

Recently a girlfriend offered to watch our then seven-week-old while my husband and I have some time to ourselves. We were thrilled by the offer and I spent the day looking forward to the possibility of seeing a movie, sitting in a restaurant, or having quiet time with my husband. As the time drew near to drop him off, I started preparing his things: diapers, bottles, blankets, and clothes. We made it to the corner before I realized I’d forgotten the bag with the milk on ice. My husband didn’t have to say anything, the silence, well…

We were greeted at my girlfriend’s the door with cheering and “oohs” and “aahs”. After handing over the bags and the baby, we headed off for our great adventure. Then, there was the unexpected anxiety. Zion had only been here seven weeks and already I didn’t know what to do without him. I thought we’d go home so I could nap for an hour, but lying down without the wiggly, squirmy baby tucked next to me was awkward I laid there for 15 minutes before giving up on the idea of napping entirely. My husband and I watched each other, then the clock, then a little TV before we put on our jackets, grabbed the car keys, and headed back to gather our son and his things.

This time we were greeted with frowns and questions. What happened? Are you sure? She even tried sending us away for a couple of hours – suggesting, “the Grove is just up the street.” We declined, promising to try again in a couple of weeks.

When we returned home, my husband hung out with Zion while I napped. The sound of Zion’s occasional wines and cries was just what I needed to get some real sleep.

Changing diapers, co-sleeping, breast feeding (every two hours, around the clock) is my life now, for now. And for a moment, I thought I could escape to the time before Zion was here. I’m discovering that being a mother doesn’t turn off simply because your child is at the baby-sitter. This is the work of God, really! It is only our agreement – our yes with Christ within that makes us new – born again. Our yes gives way to God’s power - the same power that rotates the earth on its axis – changes day to night – spring to summer – summer to fall – and fall to winter. This power is working in me. I am changed from a single-minded, self-centered, shopping, girlfriend-chatting, God-loving bohemian chic to a breast-feeding, baby-carrying, diaper-changing, two-minute showering mother. Scriptures say that if any woman be in Christ she is a new creation, old things have passed away . . . all things have become new. Well, if any Monique be in motherhood old things have passed away too. The Monique I was before Zion has been created brand new. Hopefully, more in God’s image?

Peace and Blessing
Monique Ruffin-James